The Daily G.I.F.T. from The GratiDude

No shortcuts to addressing past traumas. Let’s roll up our sleeves and get to work, together.

www.grateful4.org

Gratitude

Intention

First

Things

The G.I.F.T. Today

Grateful: for knowing that I was missed by a friend who came back from Europe with GIFTS! How cool is that? #fullheart

Intention-look for opportunities to bring folks into the flow of now. Get tricky

First-Calendar look later on this afternoon

Things-Whole peeled tomatoes for Sunday Gravy

Morning Meditation from The GratiDude

Going back about 15 years ago, I had realized that in my effort to construct a life that was an “A+” on the report card, I had come up short and still felt like I was living a “B” life.

A “B” Life in terms of knowing that there was something much more and wanting to find a way to live a life where I felt that every single day I had real opportunities to help other people that would be so much more meaningful than simply helping to run a business and making money.

Sure, there are opportunities to help others in business contacts which translate into the opportunities for those people to provide for others to help their own families and communities, and there’s all sorts of positives that come from being part of a successful business organization.

For me personally, though, in terms of what my higher calling was, I had to get back to what I remember I was originally drawn to as a small child, and that was simply the feeling of wanting to promote the exchange of unconditional love in all interactions and activities.

I know this sounds extremely simple, basic, and altruistic, and I’m OK with that because it’s my mission and I’m just finding rational and practical ways to express it that people will understand and not feel threatened by.

Like building a global movement around Gratitude and using the game of golf and the golf industry as the springboard and where I can find a suitable microphone with sufficient volume and distance carry.

I’ll never forget cornering the mother of my children 66 months ago in the laundry room where I knew she couldn’t escape and making her give me the kick in the dick that I needed around alcohol, and that The Sauce and Tito was standing on my cape when Superman was trying to Fly. There was MORE to the person that I could be.

I needed to hear it from her mouth, as if she was giving me an ultimatum that I was at risk of destroying everything we had ever built, even though her patience and ability to live with a drunk would probably have gone on forever. For her, that was really more as a result of her upbringing and the examples that she saw in her house and community that made my behavior appear acceptable.

I also realize that’s one of the reasons I was comfortable asking her to marry me and have my kids. Deep down on a subconscious level, I knew that she would enable my lifestyle and allow me to drink heavily when I wanted to go on my binges as I felt compelled to do every 30 days or so.

When she uttered the words about me and alcohol:  “it’s the only time you’ve ever been mean.” THAT was what I needed to hear at that time to kickstart my cold turkey, yoga, meditation, gratitude, sobriety, experiment.

As I walked out of that laundry room, crying after having made the commitments that I would literally never drink again I knew there was no shortcut.

There was no effortless way to get through this, and that I was going to have to simply tackle all of my trauma and the things that I was working to keep buried via inebriation,  head on.

You can’t drink your way through it, you can’t pop pills and get to the other side of healing, you can’t have sex or snort your way to a place we integrate all our past traumas.  You must do what they call the “shadow work,” to  reconcile and ponder, sometimes recapitulate past traumas or events,  meditate,  cry, and keep doing this.  Daily.  With help and consistency, you WILL get to the point where your anxiety subsides, and you have cultivated a reservoir of calm. 

Integrating trauma is closely linked to shadow work because “shadow work” essentially involves bringing to light and accepting the often repressed, painful parts of oneself, which can often stem from past traumatic experiences; by consciously acknowledging and processing these aspects, one can begin to heal from the trauma and integrate those experiences into a more complete self-image, thus achieving greater wholeness. 

Key points about this connection:

Unconscious aspects:

Both shadow work and trauma integration focus on exploring parts of the self that are often hidden in the unconscious mind, including repressed emotions, fears, and beliefs that may originate from traumatic events.

Emotional healing:

By confronting and acknowledging these “shadow” aspects, individuals can begin to process and heal from the emotional pain associated with past trauma.

Self-acceptance:

The goal of both practices is to move towards accepting all parts of oneself, including the darker aspects that might be associated with trauma, rather than suppressing them

And when you get here,  to a place feeling consistently in the NOW and you hover in a Calm perspective utilizing self-acceptance and self-love, it isn’t a “set it and forget it” type of program.

Nope. 

You must stay vigilant.