The Daily G.I.F.T. from The GratiDude

I get regular emails from a website called “bring a trailer” auctions, or BAT.

A few weeks ago, they had a Lincoln Continental for sale that apparently was once driven by Bozo the clown.

If that didn’t make the car priceless, I don’t know what would ha ha.

The summer before I turned five years old, 1973, is when I have some of my earliest memories that I’m aware of right now.  My brother was about to turn six, Sean, and my dad had something big planned.

He laid it out for us at the picnic table in the backyard and that he wanted to make sure we were excited about it because he sure seem to be.

We were gonna go on the Bozo the clown show!!!

EVERYBODY watched Bozo the clown!!

Well, more specifically, the audience coveted by Cereal Sellers and Mattel Toys, the 4 to 9-year-old demographic.

Our Father explained that he wanted both of us to do it at the same time however he needed special permission from the folks that ran the Bozo show because at the time of filming I was not gonna be quite five years old yet and that was the cut off age.

He told us “ don’t worry I’m writing them a letter and sending photos of you kids so they know how special the two of you are and then it would be simply impossible to break you guys up and that Bozo needs to meet both of you at the same time”.

This made sense to us, and we simply waited for further instructions.

This was my Dad Arthur E. Carpenter when he was healthy enough to be loving, caring and focused on gassing us up in a positive way.

He was building our self-esteem telling us how special we were.  

These were the moments I had to focus on when shit went sideways and out of the family and made the decision to take his own life over 10 years later.

Until we got to be like 10 or so, he was still a Superhero and sure enough, we got the approval that I could slide under the wire and join my brother at the filming of the Bozo. The show was filmed in Windsor Canada, even though it was broadcast out of a Detroit TV station.

I remember the excitement of the drive there and quite a bit about the studio and where the parents at and the whole set up.  

Early on in the broadcast during a commercial break as it was filmed live before the studio audience, one of the producers explained that the next segment was going to be when Bozo sang happy birthday to the kids who had a birthday so all the kids with the birthday needed to come over and get ready for the filming of the happy birthday song when the commercial was over.

It was still a few weeks until my birthday, and I was completely flummoxed

as to if I should be one of the fortunate participants being sung to you by the big red haired dude with the white gloves.

All the other kids that were confident that they complied with the rules and regulations of the birthday song event were already in line and I was waffling as I didn’t want to cheat or do something wrong. I needed guidance, so I broke protocol and I ran over to where my mom and dad were to quickly ask them what I should do before the commercial was over. 

Before my mom could respond after I asked “my birthday isn’t for two weeks. Can I still have bozo saying happy birthday to me? “, my Dad looked at me with his gray green eyes and forcefully, but lovingly told me:

”Son, Bozo waiting for you, hustle over there and jump on his lap!”. 

That was my Dad.

So I did.

I remember watching the broadcast a few weeks later and seeing all the kids gathered around Bozo as he started to introduce the birthday segment. All of a sudden, like a mop-topped comet and out of the side of the screen, this little blond streak came running and jumped like Michael Jordan from the free-throw line and landed right on Bozo’s lap.

All the other kids are gathered around on the ground, but apparently I took my father’s instructions, literally and I leapfrogged a couple of kids and his white gloves caught me like the universe catches dreamers who follow their heart and have faith.

That moment of running across the stage and trusting both the message from my father and my heart being aligned at the same time strangely is one of the most powerful memories of my early childhood that I have.

I felt so great as I turned and ran towards that weird clown even though the lights were already coming up, and I knew I was probably a little bit late, I still PERFECT, I felt like I couldn’t be MORE on time when I landed on his lap. His hair was huge, his smile giant, and I smelled the make up and when I smiled to look out at my Mom and Dad, it was kinda like right now.

I couldn’t see my parents anymore.

It was because the lights were so bright for the broadcast production.

My Dad thanked the Producers and they invited us back for the following year. I was a veteran the second time, but I’ll save that for another story cause it involves Spider-Man crazy foam and a prank on my mom in the middle of the night.

Hilarious but not my best decision ha ha.

What was my best decision was trusting my gut and then seeking counsel from someone I loved and trusted.

I sometimes think that my Dad’s relationship with me might’ve peaked right there at our Bozo moment, but I know that’s not fair nor true, and that’s just my trauma and sad child talking.

I’m super grateful for all of my memories and I welcome even the ones that I have buried as they will inform me as much as anything of my life experience.

When you have a loving squad and support people around you, you can feel safe exploring old old memories and digging them up, even if they sometimes bring up trauma. Just like dirt sometimes sticks to the roots of delicious healthy vegetables, we can handle it. Just like we can wash off the dirt off of fresh vegetables, we can process old memories and know we are safe, and perfect where we are, right now. And when we do that, we’re eating well and we’re processing and exploring an Attitude of Gratitude.

EVERY DAY:

Love

and

Gratitude

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